-my english is so fucking broken and I just don't care cause I'm sleepy as fuck atm-
A quick update on my thoughts at the moment, cause stuff happened and even more stuff is about to happen and I feel like making an entry (even though I already have drawn twice, which is kinda rare?)
Anyways, so, Ireland in january 10th to february 7th. Pretty much confirmed.
Not sure if I mentioned a girl on my last entry but I just checked and I don't believe I have. Anyways. After the breakup I was like: Now Imma fuck girls and shit. Didn't happen. Turns out I'm not fit for that, even if I want to. (not fucking girls, but getting them to fuck me for one night and just go away). I went driving to a bar (which is pretty fucking unusual for me to get the car) and then I did manage to only break my heart even more. Fuck life.
So I just added this girl and we ended up liking each other, I went to visit her last tuesday (I work all week, except for tuesdays), and it was pretty fucking sweet, and this week I will not work on wednesday, cause it's my birthday and she will come visit me (she lives in another city). So yea. Also, I lost a lot of fucking friends because of my ex. Cause she left me for someone I used to call a friend and I had lots of friends linked to that dude, now I am by myself AGAIN.
Even though I've found this girl, it doesn't feel like she likes me that much, even though she says she does like me, and I do like her, probably more than I should, but fuck me anyways. So let's just see what happens next. Good thing is she is cute and lovely and stuff, but she is also a nymphomaniac, which is fan-fucking-tastic.
Also I will give up on college and do some other college, cause the one I'm now sucks so much, though I dunno which I'll go next, cause I'm a depressed loser, so I don't like doing anything, neither I'm good at anything
Summing everything up, I like a girl now and we're hanging around whenever we manage to (which is not many times, not at least march I would guess, which is a lot of fucking time), and I got stabbed in the back by tons of people and it just keeps happening. My head doesn't know what to feel. It's a mess. A complete mess. I don't know what to do next. I need help. I should be asleep. I'll go to a psychiatrist today before going to work. It's 3:30 AM and I still need a shower. I must be there at 9AM. And at work at 10AM.
~bye I guess
[EDIT] So yea, I went to the psychiatrist and I'm now officially depressed and am taking antidepressants, which reminds me of Serj Tankian's song Unthinking Society [/EDIT]
Listening to: Monstercat Podcast Ep. 33