Ah, that time where I feel sad for no F*CKING REASON (or not!)! Awesome. I tried to get to see a psychologist, but as it turns out the motherf*cker my brother used to go to now makes us pay the first time we see him and the rest of the time the medical thingy you pay monthly will pay for you. BUT THAT'S -PROBABLY- NOT SOMETHING HE CAN DO, cause if that was the case everyone would do that, which is pretty f*cked up, since medical stuff costs way too much everywhere. Anyway, we call that a medical convenant (thanks google translate, now I dunno if that term is incorrect, but still, literally translating that would be what that's called), and my family uses that a lot cause my dad gets it from his work.
But in the end I MAY try to keep looking for someone to help me out, cause even though I have friends, there are some things that I simply must keep a secret from the world. And I need a professional, not just a random person from the internet(or even friends) to listen to my problems... I guess... I have this problem where I want help, but not really :I
Anyway! Sadness means drawings! For you bastards who only care for that! Yeah, I'm talking to you(who doesn't actually exsists!)!
So, to put it out of me, cause it's been bothering me for some time and it will for some more time(not for long, but to me it will look like an eternity). As it turns out, after 1 year and 6 months together, my GF just TOTALLY changed! Like, she was the most jealous gf in the whole goddamn universe and now suddenly she just lets me do whatever cause SHE wants to do whatever (ONLY NOW, NOW THAT MY LIFE HAS ALREADY ADAPTED TO BE WITH HER AND NOT WITH FRIENDS LIKE I WAS IN THE BEGINNING) just cause she thinks she is in college, but she's doing those extra classes after high school to try to learn stuff to get into better colleges. But the thing is, now that she's like this I'm really -and I really mean REALLY- worried that she might do something that will end my happy part of life (that was a shitty way to say it, but it's what came out, so screw you). And she did something I can't say what it is because of secrets, but it is something I consider that it is something that you do with people who you care for and she did that with her friends instead of me first(who have been to do this for a long time, but just waiting for the correct time). And now that she saw one of her friend's brother play the piano she just got really interested about it, but when I tried to show her classical music instruments in this year and a half of relationship, she would just say that it was boring and that it sucked, but now she's having piano classes and I'm really not believing all this. And this thing that she did with her friends is also something that her friend's brother does a lot, which before she just thought it was stupid. I'm REALLY concerned here. Not to mention our recent fights have been more intense then ever!
Also I got a job, which is to replace parts of a REALLY CRAPPY computer brand that costs a lot, and that company just annoys the hell out of the people who work where I work because they're little b*tches who apparently think they're the best. And I'm REALLY fed up with all the bullshit, also the dudes that work there have girls who they cheat on and I'm REALLY not ok with that and makes me REALLY uncomfortable. Not to mention a dude that just tries to fuck people over whenever he does some crap, which is almost all the goddamn time! AND IT'S BEEN ONLY A MONTH! And my boss is b*tching about allowing me to go to my driving classes (which I need to do ASAP, or else I'll have to go through the whole process again, including the paying part, which is hell expensive!), and them classes happen at the same time that I work, which I get a considerably small salary for the time and effort I put into that whole thing! I don't even get extra stuff the damn call center gave me! I REALLY feel like quitting either my job or my life(which I tried doing again! this time just by taking all the medicine I found at the same time. Needless to say it didn't work).
Bye for now, I guess~
Listening to: Monstercat